Last week’s column introduced some exercises to activate and engage our backsides – and this week we’re going to delve deeper still, by exploring anal massage. Working here can be an illuminating journey of discovery, and the physical, energetic and emotional benefits can be incredible. So find a special friend, prepare by washing or douching first, pop on a latex or soft rubber glove, and lets get down to business!
If you’ve assumed the role of intrepid explorer, start off by warming your partner up, by getting them relaxed and bringing their focus to this often forgotten area. You could start by kneading and squeezing the butt cheeks and crack (preferably with a little massage oil or lubricant). With the heel of your hand, the blade of your arm and the knuckles and the tips of your fingers, gently vibrate, massage and stroke the whole area – and don’t forget to say hello to those genitals around the other side! It feels great to work a little deeper around the sit bones. You could also gently vibrate the perineum with the heel of your hand. Trace slow, gentle circles around the anus. Tickle with your fingernails and try a little light spanking (though check in first to see if your partner will appreciate that!). The key thing to remember is to get creative and explore slowly and sensitively, using alternate light and firm strokes to help build arousal levels.
By this stage, your partner should be ready to let you gently glide a lubricated finger past the sphincter and up inside. Go slow, and allow the finger to be drawn up inside rather than pushing. Then try vibrating the finger up and down, and from side to side, or use a slow and sensual in-out pumping action to build their excitement levels.
For guys, pressure on the prostate can be very pleasurable. With a beckoning upward motion (if face up) or a downward movement (if face down) feel for a walnut sized slightly rough mass a couple of inches inside. Down the centre of the prostate you might be able to feel a groove where the urethra runs through it, which is the most sensitive part. Start at the edge and work inwards, and remember to keep checking in and asking what feels good.
If you’re on the receiving end, regularly clench and pulse the muscles around the sphincter and perineum as your partner explores. Squeeze and contract as though you’re pulling the area up inside your body. This action pumps energy up through the body along the spine.
Most importantly, remember to breathe! Take deep, controlled breaths, in and out through the mouth, alternating fast, panting breaths with slow, deep rhythmic breaths into the belly. Breathing noisily and freely like this helps to build and circulate an energetic charge. Try relaxing the whole body, then tensing the whole body, or make sounds and move around a little while your partner works.
This body play is an exercise in exploration, in giving and receiving pleasure for the sake of it. Take the time to discover the subtle effects, without necessarily rushing to the ‘sex-part’ and orgasm. In taking away this expectation and staying with extended levels of arousal, you’ll be able to experience new sensations, altered awareness and trance-like states that can take your sexual and emotional life to a whole new level.
In love and light,