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Nov 012017

How do you like your pubes?  Smooth and hairless, or wild and free?  Or perhaps a tasteful trim, a runway or delicate triangle?

When it comes down it, there’s no right or wrong answer.  It’s a personal choice, and personal preferences should be the first and last issues in our decision.  And yet, so often our personal choices are affected by public opinion.

Personal grooming habits have been decisively influenced by social opinion for years.  Our current obsession with hairlessness is an accident of history, an attitude that came into vogue throughout the last half a millennium.  But what does it mean?

Pubic hair begins to grow when we reach maturity.  It’s tangible evidence of our capacity to procreate, to create life.  Our recent obsession with hairlessness is a reflection of a desire to separate sex from procreation.  It’s a symbol of sexuality without connection, evidence of our readiness to engage in the sexual act without meaning or true union.  It has been popularised by the cultural obsession with bikini lines and the porn industry.  This influence has been so powerful in the mind of the public that generations of young women have been made to feel insecure about the natural function of their bodies.  And it doesn’t stop with women.  The metrosexual movement has brought the hairless look into the mainstream for men as well.

Personal grooming is a choice.  Just look at the words themselves.  It is personal.  If a woman enjoys keeping herself clean-shaven or trimming her bush into a carefully-maintained womanscape, then it should be her choice, 100%.  If a man likes to artfully trim his pubes or remove them completely, the same applies.  At the same time, why?  Should we feel pressured to endure the agony of waxing or the inconveniences of shaving simply because public opinion portrays this as desirable?

When it comes down to it, the hairless vulva is neither more hygienic nor sexier.  And for the men, the complete removal of body hair can offer a smooth, sleek appearance.  At the same time, you may prefer an artful trim or the wild and virile appearance of untrimmed pubic hair.  Our personal choices should be based upon our own desires, rather than those of mass opinion, especially a mass opinion that has been shaped by media, social opinion, and the porn industry.  

What do you like?  How do you like to feel?

If you’ve met the right person, then they will love every aspect of your being and your body.  From your body hair to your attitude.  The right person will love you for who you are.  Regardless of any images which the media has conditioned into us about what sexuality is supposed to be.

Is it worth it to endure the pain of Brazilian waxes or the challenges of shaving simply to maintain an image of the prepubescent virgin?  Or would you prefer to display your body in all its natural beauty, unmodified by razors, wax, or other depilatory devices?  There’s no right answer here.  The hairless vulva is beautiful, revealing the sexuality of woman in all its glory.  And, at the same time, the full bush is beautiful, showing woman in all her power, alive to her potential as a creative, alive being.  With men, sporting a bit of pubic hair can be a sign of masculinity, something that shows, without words, that your lover is with a man rather than a child.

The key is to take your power back.  Your body is your domain, your sacred space.  How would you like to arrange your kingdom?  And why do you make the choices you do?  Are these choices about catering to the image of the masses, or do they serve your needs as an individual?

You are empowered and alive.  You can shape your body and your body hair as you choose.  What do you really want?  The right person will love you for your choice, and not despite it.

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Sep 012017

I want a man with a slow hand,
I want a lover with an easy touch,
I want somebody who will spend some time,
Not come and go in a heated rush,
I want somebody who will understand,
When it comes to love, I want a slow hand.
The Pointer Sisters – Slow Hand 1981

The Pointer Sisters might not have known about tantra, but they understood its essence. Tantra is an art of intimacy and connection. It touches upon the rawest and most fundamental aspects of our being. Our body. Our nerves. Our feelings and emotions. These aspects of our being touch our very core. Tantra is true intimacy, and to be truly intimate, we have to slow down, be still, and tune in to the deliberate, surging rhythms of the body and sensuality.

Many of us have learned to be unconscious in our sexuality. We touch, but the touch comes from the mind. We make love, but all too often it is a headlong rush to orgasm. But the potential is so much more. Our touch can awaken the senses, sending rippling sensations all through our lover. Our hands can stroke, caress, hold, and communicate. Our touch can stimulate, calm, communicate affection, inspire sensuality, or move our lover to arousal. It offers communication on a level far deeper than words.

The skin is our largest organ, filled with millions of nerve fibers and exquisitely responsive to touch. Touching our lover can soothe their anxiety, improve their mood, and chase their troubles away. Every inch of our body is an erogenous zone. It is a sensual playground which can be touched, tapped, caressed, stroked, tickled, and squeezed. Each type of touch offers its own sensation. Giving the whole body attention stimulates and enlivens the nerves, arousing and delighting in a way that you can’t experience when focusing your attention solely on the breasts and genitals.

When touching your lover, explore their body from head to toe. Be present and mindful. Consider your intention. Are you intending to arouse? To calm? To relieve tension? Your lover receives your intentions with your touch, hearing your communication louder and more clearly than can be shared with a thousand words.

Mindful touch actually changes our brains over time. It helps to develop our prefrontal cortex, the part of our brains associated with empathy, intuition, and impulse control. It is extremely powerful, a way to heal others on a deep level and awaken the senses. Mindful touch can relax the body and release blocked energy. It can increase awareness and invite a healing experience for the entire body. Touch with consciousness awakens the senses to allow ripples of ecstasy to flow through the body.

The entire body has the potential to be erogenous, every inch capable of receiving delicious orgasmic sensation. As you touch your lover, visualise your intention. Allow that energy to radiate from your fingertips. Whether it is for massage or for connection, let the energy of your intention be delivered through the silent communication of contact. The message delivered is physical and electric, able to express love, tenderness, and warmth without a word. Use your imagination and make your sensual play a theatre of touch, exploring your lover from head to toe, revelling in the beauty of their being.

Sensual touch, slow, conscious connection, is an amazing way to deepen intimacy. It can shine the light on your sexual nature, and that of your partner, exploring undiscovered realms of sensuality and deepening the relationship in unsuspected ways. This isn’t a matter of technique, but of really being there when you touch, of bringing your whole self to the moment of contact. This is sensual, rather than sexual, focusing on feeling every sensation rather than trying to rush to the moment of orgasm.
Here are some tips to help you explore the world of sensual touch further:

1. Take your time

Real intimacy isn’t rushed. It isn’t for quickies, for rushed moments fit in between other activities or responsibilities. Sensual touch is subtle, slow, and delicious. Clear the calendar. Take the time to really be there. When you take your time, you can explore every inch of your lover’s body and give time for the pleasure to build to exquisite heights.

2. Get grounded

Your touch is an energetic communication. Everything you have inside of you comes across with your contact. When moving into a sensual realm with your lover, clear your mind. Let go of what you might have to do in an hour, tomorrow, next week. Let go of anything other than where you are right now, than the beauty of your partner before. You may wish to exercise or do a bit of yoga first. The real key is to get grounded and present, to let go of anything that pulls your attention away from the moment.

3. Comfort is key

If you really want to tune into feeling, you have to be comfortable and able to relax. You may want to start by taking a bath or a walk, making space to allow your partner to let the stress flow away and tune in to the sensations of the body. Find out what makes your lover comfortable and make that happen. Take some time apart from the hectic pace of everyday life and make your sensual play an event that you can share.

4. Mood is everything

Ambience creates the mood. Soft lighting, pleasant temperature, consider every aspect of the sensual experience. Every sense is a gateway to pleasure. Bring in a bit of music, something exciting, soothing, and yet not distracting. Create an atmosphere that allows you both to relax and focus on the moment.

5. No looking!

Our minds and eyes go together. That means that mental experiences are often focused on the visual. When we close our eyes, this focuses our attention on sensation, on feeling, sound, smell, all of the senses neglected in daily life. This offers potential for a truly sensual experience. You may want to offer your partner a blindfold, something to let go of the need to see and move more fully into the realm of feeling.

6. Explore the whole body

Look at your lover. See all of them, from head to toe. Take them in with your eyes. See every gorgeous inch, bringing your eyes from their feel to their head. Let go of any critical impulses. Connect with your sense of appreciation for your partner. Tune in to where they are right now. How are they holding themselves? Are there any points of tension? Tune in to what really turns you on about your lover. See them, fully and completely.

7. Tell them what you love about them

Communication is the sexiest thing we can do. Tell your lover what you love about them. Mention the parts of their body or their being that turn you on. Let them know how you really feel. It’s amazingly arousing to be seen and to be appreciated, just as we are. Bring the enjoyment coming from your exploration of your lover’s body to your lips and share it with them.

8. Begin touching

Where do your hands want to go? What part of your lover’s body is calling for your attention? Let your hands go where they want to go, touching as lightly as possible at first. This is like a tactile whisper. Just graze your partner’s skin, sliding across their body. This is exciting, stimulating, encouraging your lover to want to feel more. Subtlety is key now. Keep this going for as long as you can, building your lover’s anticipation.

9. Pay attention

How does your partner respond to your touch? How does it feel for them? Notice the noises they make, how they move as they receive your attention. Notice the expressions on their face. Their breath. Your lover will let you know what feels good for them, what they like. Notice how the contact feels for you. What does their skin feel like? What does it feel like from within to touch your lover? Keep tuned in to the subtle feelings as you offer your partner sensation.

10. What are you touching with?

Fingertips? Back of the Hand? Side of the wrist? Each part of your body offers different sensations. Explore this. How does the sensation change for you when you touch your lover with different parts of your body? How does your lover feel it? Pay attention. You will find all sorts of beautiful variations in intensity and sensation.

11. How are you touching?

Caress. Massage. Squeeze. Tickle. Stroke. Press. Tap. How many different kinds of touch can you imagine? Every single one offers its own distinct sensation. Each one communicates something different. Speak to your lover with your touch, saying exactly what you want to say in the moment. Let your contact be sensual poetry.

12. Play the intensity

We all love a bit of variety. It’s hardwired. We love the sensations and experiences to shift from one moment to the next. Change it up from a soft stroke to a more vigorous contact. Make the transitions so slow that your lover doesn’t even realise that the change is happening.

13. Deepen into the journey of touch

The key is to start slow, but that’s just the start. Here’s where we can finally begin to get hot and heavy. Bring both hands into play, use your legs, feet, lips, anything you’ve got into play in connecting with your lover. There’s no one way to do this. Feel the energy and the moment. Follow where it leads.

There’s no manual for true intimacy, but if you follow these tips, you are sure to have a deeper and more delightful connection with your lover.

Just remember that your energy level is important. Your touch is wordless communication.
Whatever you feel will be felt by your lover. This is about real feeling, rather than orgasm. Be present to the sensations of the moment.

Make your partner’s experience central to your intentions, and you will be amazed at the heights of pleasure you can reach.

Light and blessings

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Aug 012017

Sex is amazing.  Delicious, sensual, beautiful, fun.  It’s one of the most beautiful forms of connection we can share.  But more than that, our sexuality is connected to the deepest dynamic of our personality, or core sense of self.  All too often, society imprints in us patterns of fear, shame, and guilt around our sexuality.  We pick up taboos, judgments, and so many other things, complicating our relationships with our bodies, with intimacy, and with one another.  We learn to close off, physically, emotionally, and energetically.

It is because of this that our sexuality has such potential to offer healing.  When approached with consciousness, sexual energy is opening and expansive.  It can unlock the body and the heart, bringing life back into spaces that we have closed off and shut down.  And since our sexual nature is so deeply connected to our core, this healing extends into the foundation of our connection with self and with one another, having the potential to completely transform every aspect of our experience.

Tantra and bodywork are beautiful practices to help us access this healing potential.  Tantra is itself a practice of spiritual elevation through our sensual nature.  Through sex and through the pure physical opening that can come from sharing without judgment and without thoughts of performance, from a place of full presence.  It helps us to move past ideas of what sex should look like, past roles and stories.

The beautiful thing about the tantric practice is that it extends so far past the realm of sexuality, into a place where our intimacy can deepen.  It helps us to become more comfortable opening up and being seen, to have more space to see and accept the others that we connect with, exactly as they are.  This more conscious approach to sexuality becomes a model that helps to deepen our approach to life on every level.  Tantra and the healing that it offers revitalises our connection with the moment of experience, inviting authenticity, a stronger sense of self-esteem, and a more empowered relationship with ourselves and the world.

When we come from a place of wholeness, the masks drop away.  We become more free to let go of things that we do to maintain control, to project an image, to purchase acceptance from others.  We learn to express ourselves with authenticity and honesty, communicating our emotions from a real, raw space, and learning accountability for those feelings at the same time.  We heal and release the judgments we have around ourselves and our body, letting go of those aspects of guilt and shame that cause us to push intimacy away and hide from the world.  In short, we open to exactly the kind of relationship with ourselves and others that we have wanted all along.

One of the most amazing aspects of this transformation is that it extends the same healing potential into every connection we have.  Our own healing journey is offered, through our words, through our presence, through the examples we offer and the space we hold in our relating, to everyone we interact with.  The healing radiates out through the entire sphere of our experience.  Not just with those that we connect with on an intimate or sexual level, but with everyone we encounter.

This is the true power of sexuality, of tantra, of connecting with our bodies from a space of sensuality and deep acceptance.  Healing, creativity, vitality, clarity, a deeper capacity for love and a more authentic expression of our own beings.  The capacity to surrender our illusions of control to step into a truly human space of experiencing and relating.  And as this movement to wholeness happens within, it becomes reflected in the mirror of our outer world, manifesting as a life more filled with joy, freedom, meaningful connection, and abundance than we could have imagined possible.

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Jul 012017

One of the most beautiful things that the practice of tantra has brought into my life is a sense of deep acceptance.  For who I am, for how I am.  For all the little perfect imperfections of my being.  It’s a growing process, one that’s never completed, always alive and growing.  And this is part of the beauty of it.

The key, for me, revolves around acceptance and judgment.  Judgment, in these terms, means accepting certain things and rejecting others.  About ourselves, about others, about the world, about how life is.  In essence: making something wrong.  It can be pretty easy to slip into this.  We all have things about ourselves that we would like to change, that we may not want to see, things we reject or try to fight against.  And we tend to see those same things in others that we interact with and in the world at large, judging outwardly just as we judge inwardly.

One challenge that this brings is the tendency to move into conflict with ourselves.  We may deny those things we don’t accept, or strive to change them. We might be angry or shameful: about our desires, our feelings, our habits, attitudes or emotions.  But when we shun them, they only become stronger.  We may push them down into the subconscious, but they just leak out around the edges of the masks that we wear, or explode outward and cause problems.  We may get the feeling that no matter how hard we try to change, these qualities keep popping up, sometimes stronger than before.

Tantra is a practice of deep acceptance.  Of knowing that there is no right or wrong.  Everything we are, is essential to our beings, a beautiful part of our sacred journey.  Tantra is about being present in the moment: feeling our feelings and simply allowing them to be.

Something amazing happens when we stop fighting and start accepting.  Imagine for a moment a pain or anger you’ve been trying so hard to ignore.  Imagine just stopping and allowing yourself to feel it, to be with it.  At first, it can be overwhelming.  It hurts, or it’s so strong that we could easily get carried away by it.  That’s why we’ve run, or hidden, or lashed out, or made a story about it, or gone into the blame game.  But we sit with it, breathing, allowing it to be.

This is just the beginning of acceptance, and yet if we are able to truly do this, to really love the parts of ourselves that are coming up to be heard, the charge starts to ease.  We start to feel more space around the feeling.  We might take it further and open up.  Share what’s coming up with a trusted friend or loved one, move into a place of vulnerability.  Suddenly, the thing that we’ve been fighting all this time begins to fade.  We’ve stopped fighting it, stopped running or hiding from it.  Stopped feeding the fire.  We’re actually feeling it, and this brings a deep sense of peace and release.

This makes space inside of us.  Space to allow life in, to feel, to see what’s around us in the moment, and to experience how beautiful, how joyful, rich, and alive the moment really is.  This is the core of tantra.  It’s something that we can explore in sexuality and sensuality, connecting to the body and the deepest creative force in existence.  But it doesn’t stop there.  This sense of acceptance, this peace with ourselves and with our moment, extends into everything we experience.  Into every relationship, regardless of what the relating looks like on the surface.  Into our approach to life at the deepest level and in every way.

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Jun 012017

Looking for a new Hens Party idea to make the night special?  Something different and exciting, and something that will offer the new bride and her BFFs excitement that night and for the years to come?

I am excited to offer something truly unique – a Tantra Hens Night.  I create an environment of delicious succulence, pampering the bride to be and her companions and offering a live, hands-on demonstration of lingam massage.  With a live model on-hand, I demonstrate the art of tantric lingam massage, giving the lucky ladies skills to bring your man to ecstasy, keeping him hooked for all the years to come.  In one night, you can learn skills that inspire passion and devotion in your lover, exploring the ancient art of tantra and how to use it to bring the excitement in your relationship to the next level.

This isn’t an ordinary, run of the mill Hens Party.  It’s a conscious sensual experience, exciting and educational, a special opportunity to have a night you’ll never forget and to learn an art that will light the fires in the bedroom for the rest of your life.  Not only will I show you how it works, using a live model and offering the techniques I’ve honed in years of professional experience, after the demonstration the bride to be and her besties will have the chance to try it out themselves.  Get into the action and see the power of tantra for yourself.

We all want excitement in our love life, and all too often the fires cool.  We aren’t taught true sex education, the way to tap into sensuality and take pleasure and connection to the highest levels.  That’s why I’ve decided to offer these workshops.  Lingam massage is one of the hidden arts of the feminine, a tantric technique that has been used and refined for millennia to bring your lover to the peak of excitement and have them begging for more.  After learning this, you’ll have any man in the palm of your hands and aching for you.

Why have an ordinary Hens Party with all the fun and delicious excitement gone once the night has ended?  With a Tantra Hens Party, the end of the night is the beginning of the fun.  You’ll come away wanting to try out your new skills on your lovers, watching as they experience the most amazing sensual play they have ever had.  After a night like this, your love life will never be the same.  For the bride, it’s a guarantee of excitement in the marriage for all the years to come.  And for the lucky lady’s companions, it’s a gift that can be brought into any relationship, something that will stoke the fires with any lover, any time.

I work in the Sydney area and offer Tantric Hens Parties and other tantric services for any who would like to explore the ancient art of tantric sexuality, bringing the wisdom and pleasure of true connection into your lives now and for years to come.

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May 012017

I love offering workshops around sexuality.  It’s deeply fulfilling to share about how to create passionate, powerful sexual experiences, and I really enjoy getting up in front of a group to teach about all aspects of sexuality and sensual connection.  Being a sex educator, I’m always expanding my repertoire, exploring new ways to reach my audience and offer them new ways to learn about pleasure.  One beautiful way that I do this is by demonstration with a live male model. I offer Hens Parties in Sydney during which I showcase a lingam massage live and in person. There’s something about working in person and live for all to see that you simply can’t match any other way.

When I’m working with a live model, I’m able to show specific techniques, subtleties and refinements.  Plenty can be passed across with words, but when you see the technique in action, it opens up a whole new layer of understanding.  Instead of simply following a description, the audience has seen the process, been a part of it.  They gain a greater understanding and retain more of what’s been passed along in the workshop.  It’s just like any class in that respect, whether we’re discussing tantra or sewing; a skilled teacher can help students to learn a subject through lectures alone, but if they can actually see what you mean, they will learn a lot more.

One of the most rewarding things about working with a live model is that I am able to show how to touch consciously, with care, sensitivity, and intention.  A touch is worth a thousand words.  I can write or talk about going slowly with a lingam massage, or using light pressure in certain touches, certain parts of the process, but through demonstration, the audience gets a sense of what that actually means.  How to tune in with the receiver, the power of subtle touches.

I also show how to maintain constant contact with the model, not only through touch but through voice as well.  I check in with them regularly throughout the workshop, tuning in and receiving feedback.  Not only does this give the participants an opportunity to ask questions and receive feedback from the model while in the state, it also shows how they can bring this same kind of openness, communication, and conscious connection into the bedroom.  Time and time again I’ve had my audiences share that, in observing me, how I work with the model, they have picked up new ways of connecting with their lover, holding the space, and sharing sensuality. I love offering these tantra hens parties because I can pass along skills and knowledge that transform the womens love lives from then on.

People learn in different ways.  Some are more auditory and learn well simply by hearing me discuss the process, while others learn better when reading about the technique.  Some absorb the information well just by watching, and others need to engage in the process, taking notes or actually trying it out themselves.  Knowing this, I offer handouts with a written description and pens to take notes.  When working with a live model, you can see what is happening when he is touched in certain ways.  It takes the workshop out of the realm of theory and brings it home for the participants.

One of the things that I’ve heard from the participants many times after the workshops is that seeing how I work has given them permission to be less goal-oriented in their own sexual adventures.  I love this, because it’s really the whole point of tantra.  It helps us to move past the tendency to go through the motions and opens up a new level of sensual connection, really feeling and being present to the sensations.  And once again, though I can explain the importance of this to the audience, once they see it, it becomes more clear. These workshops are a great idea for a truly unique Hens Night, a chance to prepare the lucky lady for passionate and sensual years ahead.

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Apr 012017

A Hens Night is a special celebration, a time to show the bride to be how much you care, to give her and her closest friends the time of her life and share some exciting, perhaps even “naughty” moments before she ties the knot.  Why not make it thrilling and unique, a night that won’t be forgotten?

For the bride to be and her best friends in Sydney, I have something really exciting and special to offer:  A Tantra Hens Party.

Most Hens Nights include champagne, laughter, music, and excitement, perhaps some delicious masculine attention, and a memory that the bride to be can treasure for years to come.  In my Tantra Hens Parties, I offer all this and more.  The lucky lady and her closest friends will have the chance to witness lingam massage performed on a live male model.  It’s an opportunity to explore tantra, the ancient science of sexuality, to learn the art of pleasure and deepen desire and connection in your relationship.

Lingam massage is an art honed by millennia of tantric sensual exploration.  In your Tantra Hens Party, I demonstrate all the tips and techniques of lingam massage, showing you live and in person exactly how to touch a man and bring him to the highest levels of arousal.  You’ll learn how to slow things down, build pleasure to unbelievable heights, and keep your lover in a space of delicious ecstasy.  And, even better, the bride to be and her closest companions will have the chance to try it out for themselves, putting the technique into practice.  This is an opportunity to learn a sensual art that will revolutionise your love life and keep things excited for all the years to come.

This is a chance to give the bride to be a night that will strengthen her marriage, stoke the fire in the bedroom, and have her man in the palm of her hand from that night forward.  And her friends are just as lucky, as everyone at the Tantra Hens Party will bring these skills home with them.  It’s a conscious sensual experience, and a special opportunity to have a night you’ll never forget.  In one night, the bride to be and all her friends can learn a tantric art that will make their love lives better than ever.

Laughter and fun, music and champagne, a touch of real sex education, the kind that makes those sexy moments better each time.  An occasion to share and remember for the rest of your lives.  A time to be free and naughty and wild, to savour the moment and bring your intimacy to the next level.  There’s no better gift for the woman entering the adventure of married life.

So, would you like to make your next Hens Night something exciting, and unforgettable?  A Tantra Hens Party is just the thing – sensual, educational, and deliciously naughty, offering the bride to be and her BFFs the skills that will take their relationships to new levels of pleasure and connection. 

Come ready for fun.

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Mar 032017

It’s beautiful to be connected.  To have honest, real human contact, to appreciate the joys of life.  And these days, it’s easier to be connected than ever, with social media and email accessible right from our phones.  We can be reached anytime, anywhere.  But how connected are we, really?

These days, one of the biggest issues we face is work-life balance.  It’s become the norm to answer work emails, take care of invoices, and communicate with employers or clients during our personal time.  And it’s all too easy to feel pressured to do this, to feel that we won’t keep our jobs unless we “live” them.  How much room is there for the “life” part of the equation?

Once upon a time, there was a clearer delineation between work and life.  We went to work and made money so that we could go home and live.  So that we could enjoy life, interact with family and friends, experience things and cultivate rich and meaningful connections.  In order to do that, we have to disconnect from work when the work day is over.  Put the email on hold, maybe even hide the phone altogether.  Set aside a time to be human and take pleasure in our lives.

Take some time to consider it.  Are you working to live or living to work? It’s an important question.  Are you enjoying this precious gift of life, or just waiting for retirement?  The choice is always ours.  We can give ourselves permission to put the job down and enjoy the time we have.

Our world is framed by narrative, by stories that we have absorbed along the way, often without ever realising it.  One of these narratives is security.  It’s that feeling that we have to push, struggle, exhaust ourselves, and do things that we don’t really want to do.  Just so that we have enough money to pay the bills and come back for the next week of struggle.  The funny thing is that security is an illusion; a carrot on a stick if you will, that can keep us running for decades, if we don’t stop to consider the alternatives.  And it’s a bottomless pit, a need that can’t be filled by any amount of money, power, or possessions.

All that we have, when it comes right down to it, is our experience.  Our present moment.  But we can’t enjoy the present moment if we’re living with an “until then” mindset.  I’ll be happy when I get that next promotion.  When I can finally take that vacation.  When I pay off the mortgage.  When the kids grow up.  But life is happening right here, right now.  And it can slip right through our fingers if we don’t stop to smell the roses.  Life is for living, loving, laughing, for being present to the juicy, delicious moments, feelings, experiences, and connections that surround us and knock on the door, just waiting to be let in.

Are you enjoying yourself?  Really soaking in the beauty around you?  Feeling your body?  Having amazing and meaningful connections with the people in your life?  That’s what it’s all about, really.  And it’s a gift that each of us can give ourselves, whenever and wherever we are.

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Feb 012017

What’s the sexiest thing you can imagine?

Let me give you a hint.  Being sexy has nothing to do with your body.  Sure, it’s nice to see, or to have, flawless skin, perfect teeth, chiselled abs, or wonderful breasts.  But none of these things really make a person sexy.  You can have these attributes, or see them in another, and something can still be missing.

Real sexiness comes from another place.  Any guesses?

Here it is: listening is sexy.  Really seeing someone, really being seen.  Putting all those little thoughts or insecurities we have on the back burner and tuning in to the person in front of us.  Giving your whole and complete attention to your partner makes you attractive.

We all crave it.  We want to connect, honestly and completely, with another human being.  Without all the games, without the worries, just sharing a moment together.  We want to be seen and appreciated for who we are.  This is one of the most basic and fundamental qualities of human nature.  And it’s the one that most often goes overlooked.

It’s hard to really listen.  We wonder if we should say this or that, if the other person sees us the way we want to be seen.  We wonder if we’re good enough, if our little imperfections – or big ones – will turn the other person off.  But all of these things get in the way.  No one’s perfect, and we’re all perfect exactly as we are.

It takes work, too, because we’re so used to wanting things to work out a certain way.  We’re used to wanting things from people, for them to see us this way, or have this sort of connection with us.  The most beautiful thing about this is that once you let go, the connections that enter your life become more right, more fulfilling in a subtle and indescribable way.

Try it out.  Next time you’re with your sweetheart, let go of all the things you worry about, and just listen to what they have to say.  Don’t just listen to their words.  Breathe, be in your body, and listen with every part of your being.  Open up your heart as well as your ears. Listen to the feelings that arise as they speak.  Listen to your body’s responses.  Open up to the person you’re sharing the moment with, and see where it goes.

If you can really do this, dating becomes much easier and a lot more fun.  And long-term relationships can be completely transformed.  No more waiting for the kiss, or wondering what you should say.  No more arguments about silly inconsequential things to cover your real feelings.  Just being there in the moment, listening, and allowing yourself to respond naturally.  No need to hold on to anything you might hope for, or hold off for anything you might be afraid of.  Just letting the moment unfold as it wants to, and following the energy.

One of the first things that you’ll notice is that people will be drawn to you.  As you become better at listening, people will want to share with you.  This is huge in intimate connections, but it doesn’t stop there.  When people feel that you see them, that they really hear what you have to say, they want to spend time with you.  They want to share all of those things they’ve kept inside.  Because you’re creating a space that they can just be themselves, that they will be seen and accepted for whoever they are.

This is a bit of magic, one of the easiest things we can do, and one of the hardest.  The single biggest key to being sexy.  Try it out, and let me know what you think.

In love and light,


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Dec 042016

merry-christmas-from-blissrisingMerry Christmas season, everyone!  Once more, it’s time for blessings and cheer and to reflect upon the year.  And it’s been a whirlwind.

I love the holiday season, but I have to remember to pull back and pamper myself a little bit along the way.  For all the cheer and joy that comes around, we have the stress of family dynamics, the rush for Xmas presents, and the inevitable chaos that pops up on cue each holiday season.  I invite you all to take the time you need to reboot and recover some of the energy spent throughout the last twelve months.

This year has been epic, both for Blissrising and on a personal level.  It’s flown by, a journey from one obstacle to the next.  For those that resonate with this, take heart.  There’s always a storm before the calm.  Crisis and opportunity, challenge and growth.  The energy is high, the pace is fast, and we’re gathering more momentum as we move along.  The best thing to do is take one step at a time and remember to breathe, to let the flow of life carry us along as it unfolds.

One of the beautiful new developments for Blissrising is the Hen’s Night.  These nights have been juicy and exciting, perfect gifts for the bride-to-be.  I host a Lingam Massage Hen’s Night where the lucky bride to be and her friends get to experience and learn the techniques needed to give a sensual and erotic experience that your men will never forget.  I teach an authentic tantric skill that will keep your man in the palm of your hand from day one, and once they go tantric, they don’t go back.

Despite the challenges along the way, this year has been exciting, expansive, and downright amazing.  I have received a host of wonderful clients, and have had the privilege to brighten their lives, deepen their connection to sensuality, and give the gift of touch, sensuality and tantra to men, women, and couples from all walks of life.  This is my passion and my joy, my way of bringing more life, light, joy, and pleasure into the world.

I normally don’t get into this, but I even have a few resolutions for the New Year.  My goals – to begin sharing with a broader audience through a YouTube channel and to take a few more mini-vacations and spend more time with loved ones.  I want to open up a bit more to the flow of life and to do one thing each day to brighten the lives of those around me.

So, with the end of one year and the dawn of the new on the horizon, what are your reflections?  What challenges have you met, and what gifts have these challenges offered?  What is there to be grateful for in your world, and what would you like to do to give back to yourself.  And finally, what experiences would you like to invite into your world during the year ahead?

In love and light, and with holiday blessings for all.

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